So, me and my good friend, Katherine, were discussing wonderful ways to aid in quitting nasty habits;

-Smoking

-Biting nails

-Singing loudy/Talking at all (my sister)

The great ideas we came up with were the usual until I suggested a sugar-free lollipop. My friend’s reaction was priceless….

“A sugar-free lollipop, is a stick.”

:)

Just for you.

Alright real quick short….

So today it took me a ridiculous 25 minutes to get to work. Doesn’t sound too bad? Oh, I forgot to mention I live less than a mile!

-No the traffic was great

-No wrecks

-No road work

MY WINDSHIELD WIPERS ARE BROKEN! (and it chose today to pour :/ )

So the first 25 minutes of my day were spent in the freezing rain driving 2 MPH, pulling over every 28 seconds, and jumping out of my car and moving my wipers back and forth- like a dumb fuck playing Chinese Fire Drill with herself?!

I no longer feel sorry for those of you who drive manuals…. try manual windshield wipers!?

Damn.

soooooooooooooooooooooooooo time for some new wipers yo.

I gathered from talking with a male co-worker today, at my new job I might add, that girls (not all, but an extreme amount) really have taken indecency to a sick level. The conversation arose when we were discussing the way this generation dresses today. And yes, being only a mere 19 years old-I will admit, I have worn a questionable skirt or a tasteless low cut shirt…. but I’ll tell you one thing, no guy has ever seen my twat as I casually get out of my car!? I mean SERIOUSLY, COME ON. If you have to adjust yourself every say thirty seconds-IT DOESN’T FIT!

Another thing we discussed was how he felt about girls who just openly put themselves out there. For example, My first day at work I met this girl. (we’ll call her.. Tina- to protect her identity but also because I think Tina suits her better) Well Tina’s firsts words to me were- “I just love having sex, I can;t help it and the guys here think my bf is gay because he doesn’t want to as much as me?!” I honestly wanted to say-first off, who the fuck are you one, and two, I don’t care, plus that is inappropriate but, maybe your bf-soon to be ex- is tired and cheating… you seem to want attention so maybe he is exhausted from dealing with you!?” but instead I responded, ”Oh…” I should have said something to shut her up at least because that night continued with the following remarks from her mouth…(which were all said in front of the guys I worked with by the way)

-Do you think my boyfriend will mind me sending nudes to all my guy friends?

-You know what pretzels remind me of-dicks.

-Everything makes me so horny.

-I just wish I had some shots of Vodka, and I would be having a good night.

So to get to the point of this very drawwwnnn outttatt post, Tina, the “sex freak”, is in Noooooo way attractive to any descent guy. PERIOD.

She consistently will complain about not having a boy friend but in all honesty, who would want an old pair of warn out sneakers that stink and have been worn by a community of football players as apposed to a brand new pair of white Puma tennis shoes- not anyone in their right mind. So what makes you think a guy would want you after hearing your multiple stories of the sex you have had with other guys as well as seeing nudes sent around to your entire high school?

-yes I did just compare Tina to an old pair of sneakers :)

Ladies, well, some you don’t even deserve that term, so to be more broad-

FEMALES I want to enlighten you here and now, maybe to help with these horrible boy problems I constantly hear about. Take my advice and I promise you, one day a caring GOOD guy will come your way (and you possibly won’t scare him off!)

STOP BEING HARLOTS. (look it up if you don’t know.)

STOP WEARING THE WRONG SIZE, SHORT SKIRTS.

STOP TALKING ABOUT YOUR SEX LIFE IN PUBLIC.

STOP BEING TRASHY.

STOP BEING FLAT OUT DISGUSTING.

STOP CHASING GUYS.

JUST STOP!

Basically guys work on a physical level- they’re animals and honestly, that is nature. (and no, I’m not excusing poor behavior but honey, if you put a treat in front of a dog he is going to drool.) Overall, the guys who usually go after girls who seem like sluts are interested in maybe one of two things-sex or sex.

I write this post once again to offer an understanding and maybe some assistance… not to make all woman feel bad for flaunting their twat… but yes, that is still not okay under ANY circumstance.

It seems almost impossible in this world to be fully INDEPENDENT (Thank you Lil Boosie, for now I know how to spell that.)

I find myself falling more into the Hipster Trend. 

So, I have decided to embrace it and make myself a “to-do” list helping mark about how far I am from being a true Hipster.

1. Create a twitter

2. Figure out how to use my twitter

3. Find clothes that are popular, but say I got them from a thrift shop

4. Find a coffee shop which not a lot of people go to, and casually drop it in EVERY conversation that I attend it to “think and write memoirs about life”

5. Actually begin to like coffee

6. Buy obnoxious size glasses that do not help with vision but do the exact opposite by degrading my peripheral vision.

7. Get a bunch of “meaningful” tattoos - and one big sleeve ( I guess this one counts for numbers 7, 8, and 9.

10. Wear deep red lipstick. Even in the nude.

11. Research Independent Films, bands, and T.V Shows and pretend to love them. ( even when I know they suck)

12. Watch every episode of The Office.

13. Acquire a taste for Sushi and Tofu

So far this is my list, I would appreciate your input on anything else I need to be a true Hipster Fuck. Thank you and have a Rad day.

(14. Use the word rad, knowing damn well it isn’t popular.)

I have figured out that I have an immense/odd amount of sympathy for cats.

I feel like all cats deserved to be loved. This includes the non domesticated ones that run from me, I think to myself- “They don’t know what they’re missing. I just need to catch them, tame them, and then they will see they wanted it all along.” 

My boyfriend calls me crazy. He begs me to just let them be. (this might be due to the amount of animals I have brought home in the past, even when our roommate doesn’t allow pets :/) but yet I still find myself tempted to stop, and try to woe her/him to my car with my delicious Mcdonalds Chicken Nuggets, like a cracked out hobo. God Bless those impatient people who lay on their horn during my crafty attempt to save all the kitties- “Hey, sorry the cat picked a busy intersection to run across?!”

So I have decided to stop chasing/woe-ing/hiding/snatching/ and taking home cats. I will leave them be. (At least until I have my own house. C:)